day 365

the last one.

first things first:

a bit of progress...

my bed is MADE. this is such a rarity.

hahaha! i never had stuffed animals on my bed when i was little, so i suppose i'm making up for it now with this unusual amalgamation of creatures. i only ever slept with my ~*~blankie, creatively named "pink blanket" or "pinkie" (ever-present, far left)

and my clothing rack. it's a BIG DEAL for my clothes to be hung up and not on the floor.

secondly, in my nostalgic state i've been looking at pictures from past new years eves:

this was last year, new years eve 2009, at the cinnamon girls first show

there i am on the ground, nbd

and the year before,

on this night i remember being disconcerted by my ability to feel absolutely nothing at all and still be alive.

the year before that, 2007. i remember this being a really spectacular night. i had better pictures but i can't find them.

and the year before that. i had just had my wisdom teeth taken out days earlier.

i'm not really friends with any of these people anymore, some of them i don't even speak to. can't believe this was FOUR YEARS AGO oh my god i'm old.

i haven't planned any ~~*~*~*resolutions for next year. i think last year i resolved to eat more donuts, but i didn't really keep track. and well, this project was the biggest commitment i could've possibly made.

when i was 13 i made a new years resolution to paint my fingernails a different color everyday. it didn't work out.

(and things have certainly changed.)

so here it goes: the end of my 365 day project.

i really had no idea what i was getting into when i began, and it seems so surreal that i won't be doing this again tomorrow.

i honestly considered just not posting today, just not doing a picture, and leaving it at 364 days, because i didn't want to finish. it hurts for me to finish something, even when i know i have to.

i've always been disheartened by the idea of the past. i can trace it back to being 5 years old and crying because i would never get to see my sister's school play version of the wizard of oz again. it broke my tiny 5-year-old heart to know that it was finished; the moment was over and it would never happen again.

it saddens and angers me that i can't go back in time and relive any moments that i would so choose. all i have are memories, and more infrequently, photographs, that will fade over time until one day they might as well have not happened at all.

and so i've gone pretty much my whole life avoiding finishing as many things as possible.

this is easily the most time-consuming project (aside from LIFE) i've ever done. some days i would spend HOURS taking and editing photos.

there were days when i so badly wanted to quit. during the summer when i was traveling, it was difficult to keep up with it in the absence of a reliable internet connection.

sometimes during the fall semester it was almost unreasonable for me to concentrate on this project when i had SO MANY other things going on.

there were times when i couldn't bear to look in the mirror (ohh you know, ugly days), much less take a picture and post it online.

but i did it anyway, and here it is in its entirety. a complete collection of 365 photographs. a whole year of my life, finished.

and finally,

thank you thank you thank you for reading.

i don't personally know everyone who reads this...

(hey y'all)

so if you want to stay in contact, i have a facebook, twitter, my old blog that i may or may not start again, and a new tumblr that i've only posted one thing on and don't really know how to use yet.

i'm clicking this "publish post" button one last time.

THANK YOU

have a happy new year!!!!

and goodbye :o)

day 364

i am moving i am moving

can you see me?

i

am

spinning.

we were so frightened we shook and

there was salt left in my blood-

headlights broke the rain, fingernails

through flesh,

band of fucking horses in the

upside-down

cars

and i had never been colorful,

couldn't be colorful

before this.

i was only left asking

if

i was ready

or if i

could have tried harder

or when exactly did

the branches

break

through the glass and

were there survivors?

(i paid for the roots in pennies)

and now, i keep my hands in the flames

because i

like

the

memories

day 363

-jonathan safran foer

TOP FAVORITE ULTIMATE ALBUMS OF 2010

11. ppl/bands - bRoKeN HEARTS & dirrty wInDoWs - sOnGs of John Prine

10. antony and the johnsons ~~~~~ swanlights

9. sANFORD mumford aND sONS - sIGH nO mORE

8. ****the tallest man on earth**** - the WILD hunt

7. bRoKeN beLLs - broken bells

6. soofyan stevens***~~~ the AGE of ADZ

5. bEcK + other ppl RECORD CLUB - songz of l. cohen///

4. ARC FIRE**~*~ the suburbzz

3. ~*~b& of hOrSeS~*~ infinite armszsz

2. STEEL TRAIN - steel train

1. the national AKA the nAsH**~~ high violet

AND SONGS

15. STARZ - dead HEARTZ

14. mEnOmena ** 5ive little roomzz

13. fRoNtIeR rUcKuS**~~**~~**~NERVEZ of the NIGHTMIND

12. bEaCh house ****~~~~ zEbRa~~~~

11. +++MGMT *~ i FOUnd a WHIstle

10. sTeeL trAiN ~* u and i undercover

9. theeee national - sOrRrRrRrRoW

8. DA DRUMS - DOWN BY DA H2O

7. ~*kanye west, bon iver, nicki minaj, other ppl*~ - mOnStEr*~*

6. jiiimmy EAT WORLD ~*~coffee and cigarettes~*~

5. BAND of WHORE-SES: eVeNiNg KiTcHeN

4. justin vernon - bRuiiised oRange (chain of sorrow)***~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

3. band of horses *** blue beard

2. ThE NaTiOnAL tErRiBLe LoVe

1. STEEL TRAIN *~*~*~* FALL ASLEEP

this was hard.

but yes, necessary

day 362

ohhh not sure if youguys have noticed

but it's day 362/365

CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING

i just stuck some glow-in-the-dark stars above my bed :o)

i'm trying to decide if i should finish watching the wild and wonderful whites of west virginia (online.. oh my god this documentary is insane) or american psycho (in my dvd playaaa).

tomorrow i have a breakfast date with my fraaaands so dacoda and i can give them their belated christmas presents.

and i'm going to buy a clothing rack because my closet is FULL. i know y'all are surprised probably.

and i've been working hard on deciding my top songs/albums of 2010 (important info/ranking is fun/everyone cares~*~*~*~*~)

i can FEEL the year coming to an end.

i have to end this project in three days, and i'm not prepared.

day 361

some important things from a notebook:

an illustation of an oft-unfollowed traffic rule

and what i'd think a lion would say

when i was cleaning my room i found a 100 DOLLAR BILL/hundo/benjy. this is so lucky! i left it in my brown fanny pack this summer and forgot about it.

(i hope no one takes this as an invitation to rob me. i have it very well hidden.)

this is the main reason why i love making serious attempts at cleaning my room. i love finding old treasures!

also i found my old favorite green and blue plaid shirt

and a peacock feather that is begging me to make something with it.

day 360

practicing my dance moves after watching black swan~*~

kinda glad i'm not a psycho ballerina

but wish i could do beautiful twirls aka **~*~*~*pirouets~*~*~* and/or the splits.

fave movies that were released in the year 2010:

TOY STORY 3 (top spot)

catfish

true grit

i'm still here

well, it turns out the other movies i was going to put on this list were actually released in 2009.

shutter island was okkk

black swan was good but not as good as THE FOUNTAIN

i remember thinking hot tub time machine was really hilarious.

i guess i haven't watched very many new movies this year..

also i just added a bunch of documentaries to my netflix instant queue

anyway today i worked on goal #592

here's a short list of things included in "cleaning your room":

• loading pez into a pez dispenser (and then throwing away the wrapper)
• hanging up things on walls
• looking at magazines to see if you can throw them away or not
• putting together outfits~~~
• cleaning out purses
• doing thorough "smell checks" to make sure your cats aren't using any area as a secret litter box
• putting everything in piles
• ...... basically as long as your computer is off, it counts as cleaning your room

BUT SERIOUSLY tomorrow i'm off all day and have no plans, so i have plenty of time to clean it. i'll take before and after pictures. it will be impressive.

day 359

christmas was wonderful :o)\

i woke up wayyy earlier than everyone else so i went downstairs to PEEK/watch american psycho

then my family woke up and we opened presents/played with colin's toyzzzzz

and then ate gooood breakfast after i picked up dacoda

and later we saw ~*~true grit~*~

ate spaghetti

ohh and then i fell asleep watching scrooged~~~**~~~

oh and if you were wondering if my family liked their presents, YES THEY DID. it was just these pictures of colin that i took, printed, cut, framed, made fancy, etc. 4 in each frame, you know, fancy.

and christmas isn't COMPLETELY over for me because i still haven't given my friends their gifts.

AND if you were thinking, "i wonder what awesome new things lizzie got for christmas, i'd really like to know", please read the following list. if you don't care, please skip ahead to the very last line.

A NEW POLAROID CAMERA. i've only taken one picture with it so far...

a newww zoom lens for my canon.

TICKETS TO SEE JIMMY EAT WORLD AND THE AVETT BROTHERS (from my bf/bff)

also fun. and avett brothers vinyls (also from my bf)

a really great huge pierre et gilles photography/art book

THREE new games to play at gamenight

some clothing items, jewelry, owl things and a few books~~~**~~~~

OHH and an art table!

basically what i'm trying to say is my mom went way overboard with giving gifts. but i really do love and appreciate them all. can't way to playyy with them

i hope you guys had great christmases too!!!