day 334

today marks the end of No Television November.

it wasn't much of a challenge considering i've barely had enough time to breathe this month.

but one time i accidentally watched like 30 seconds of rhianna's performance on some award show

tomorrow begins No Complaining December

Y'ALL SHOULD DO IT TOO

day 333

inspired

----

y'all the other night i had a ~*~lucid dream~*~ which basically means i knew i was dreaming and could change what was happening.

i changed the price of something i was buying (can't remember what..) from $19.99 to $9.99.

SORRY for not dreaming of something cooler but that's not the point.

i've been able to do this only a few times before in my life,

where my dream-self thinks "no, i don't think that's the way i'd like it to happen" and changes the outcome.

in one of my psychology classes when i was a baby freshman, we talked about how to have lucid dreams.

once you realize you're dreaming, you're supposed to imagine a light switch and try turning it off>>>> controlling your dreams

it's so awesome

/i love dreamland/so fucking crazzzy

and i have this recurring dream about trying to put my contacts in but they're like these giant hard plastic saucers that won't fit in my eyes

and variations of the dream that i'm already dead but don't know it/"still alive"/slowly decaying

SWEET DREAMS NIGHT Y'ALL

day 332

i've always been easily overwhelmed by having a lot to accomplish, and i always worry that there's no possible way i can get everything done.

but i always get it done, ALWAYS.

so whyyyy am i so stressed?

(i suppose the worrying is what motivates me to do anything at all)

catch 22, y'all.

i only have ONE WEEK OF SCHOOL LEFT and then finals.

i have a zillion things to finish before then.

as soon as i cross something off my to-do list, i think of something else to add.

i'm just a prisoner of time, that's all.

busy busy busy

but as soon as december 10th sneaks up on me, i'll instantly miss it all.

day 331

quick calloused branches meet november's stale air,

and our hot and cold hands join in fruitless prayer.

as i looked to the sky, my heart yet paining,

you said "oh, i am lovely. it is raining."

day 330

i enlisted the help of my talented friend amy for an attempt at recreating the mood/subject matter/style of a painting that i saw a long time ago and instantly loved, and this is the closest we could get

here's the orig:

pizza party by natalia fabia

i don't think i need to point out the obvious childhood innocence/grown-up contrast

we also tried it in her front yard to get better lighting but the feeling is entirely different/less awesome:

____

"""black friday""" was OK I GUESS. i worked sooo early and couldn't stop yawning. no deals on televisions or washing machines for this girl. i only spent $3 the whole day and that was on a fancy popsicle

day 329

happy thanksgiving y'alllll~

this picture was an accident/attempt to do a photo with my camera in the refrigerator looking out for my STUPIDEST PHOTOGRAPHY ASSIGNMENT YET "ten pictures of thanksgiving" ughhhhh23985790234yakjsdbjhbajasdfasdf

but it's the only one that i took of myself all day because i sort of forgot. oops.

kinda h8 thxgiving except for this one, three years ago when i spent the week in los angeles:

*

also i don't remember last year being completely horrible, but every other year besides those two, INCLUDING this year = worst holiday hands down

h8 the meat-based meals, the forced "family time", the football, the 8-hr shift i worked (although i willingly volunteered)

the good news~~~ it was garp's third birthday!! he used to be such a teeny pup:

*

garp lately:

:o)

i tried to go to sleep earrrrly because i had to be at work at 2:30 am the next day/SAME DAY! but i c o u l d n o t s l e e p

i tried every possible sleeping position, hoping each one would miraculously induce a full night of peaceful, deep sleep

but not even the one-leg-up-one-leg-down-curled-in-a-ball was successful, so i just lay awake for hours. also sumtymz~*~ i can't sleep without my cat, but that wasn't the matter of contention.

*had to go on myspace to find these pictures _____...

+++

ok ok i got a leeeeetle far behind. this was thursday/thanksgiving/november 25. today is saturday, and i plan on catching up with myself so plz don't fret y'all

day 328

"the worst of it is over now, and i can't say that i am glad. lose that sense of loss- you have gone and lost something else."

day 327

i've been on a ~*~finding spree~*~ lately (see yesterday's post)

founnnd all sorts of great things:

my favorite green sweatpants (that i can't wear now anyway because it's basically summer jeeeez),

my i and love and you cd,

and THIS project that i did in high school, i made you guys a video so you could see the full presentation:

i thought about singing along for added emphasis but didn't want to be laughing the entire time. i'm probably going to do this for all of my favorite songs now, i mean why not.

day 326

found:

from october 1994

from august 2009

day 325

"i meant to tell you"

day 324

hey guyszszsz in digital illustration the other day i was working really diligently on my final project surfing the world wide web to find allll sorts of cool/geeky stuff that i found inspiring/beautiful/improve the quality of life in general:

• creative bag advertisements
• these are such amazing photographs: 2009 in photos
• tiny tiny drawings on post-it notes: john kenn
• i vow to never again complain about my back hurting at work: bicycle carriers/alain delorme
• painting in water
• LIVE-ACTION DOUG MOVIE TRAILER creeeepy
• another hilarious/creepy trailer "clown"
• rotating sky-scrapers??
• and trust me just watch this

day 323

i have this genius idea to do a ~multi-media~ project of poetry + photography and the photographs will be scented with the scents tied to memories that inspire the poetry

day 322

HI

i hope this lipstick reminds you of

-------

i'm not sure whyyyy i thought i had the time to watch these three movies i rented.

Y'ALL WONDERING WHICH MOVIES HUH

from the library i got lonesome jim, which i've never seen and know nothing about except that i like casey affleck, and also the darjeeling limited, also never seen and know nothing about except that i like adrian brody and most of wes anderson's other movies.

THEN from netflix i have pecker, a john waters movie and john waters is cool i guess.

NO TIME TO WATCH ANY OF THESE.

i'll have to renew the movies 3 times and still probably have to return them without watching them. i meant to cancel my netflix account when i got really busy with school but i never remembered to>> hey does anyone want to be my netflixxx friend? and we can view each other's queues and recommend moviez and it's real neat. i only have one netflix friend right now and that's paula

a few days ago i started watching breaking upwards~~ on netflix instant-streaming which i thought would be more like a documentary than it is. just a true-life story about young love and its unfortunate demise. it's terribly tragic, thought-provoking, and ~*~totes emosh~*~ but sometimes not believable.

i really really want to finish it but i fall asleep almost instantly after i start. I GUESS i'll just be finishing it in 10-15 minute intervals then, that's fine

day 321

crunching leaves

autumn is beautiful. i've never noticed the colors of the leaves quite so much as i have this year. thxxx photography class for opening my eyez~ to remarkable things.

also~ i updated my flickr the other day

ONE MORE THING. just stumbled upon this and it's fucking brilliant

day 320

remains/remains

day 319

my favorite breeds of domestic cats~~~~

1. sphynx:

i used this picture in my magazine spread for digital illustration class~

SOO KYUT OMG OMG WANT

2. persian~*~

3. savannah

remember that time i saw one in a window? MAGNIFICENT CREATURE/banned in 3 states

4. siamese :o)

5. devon rex

6. munchkin

stumpy legs awwwww

7. russian blue

(none of these images are mine duhhhh)

i heard pApEr pLaNeS on the rad-io today and was reminded of THIS VIDEO. my life seemed considerably less complicated then, ~*HEAVY SIGHS~*~

day 318

a few notable thangz~*~:

1. i spent most of today taking photos of close-up things. "close" is a relative term, i realize, but i OBVI mean i was using the ~~close-up~~~ setting on my camera.

2. all i've eaten today is a lotttt of donuts. I NEVER DO THAT. i can't believe i don't feel like dying, although it does explain my somber mood. did you guyzz know about the relationship between f00d and m00ds>>>>?????? i can't find the article i read about it but this one is basically the same.

3. IT GETS DARK SO EARLY. seasonal depression, perhaps. LISTEN Y'ALL, the only good thing about winter is wearing your jackets for the first time and finding money/chapstick in the pockets

4. kinda wish i had a zillion $$ to fix my car. i've been riding my bike/borrowing my mom's car but the weather suddenly got very cold and my mom needs her car ya knowww>

5. did all y'all know i'm going to chicago in a few weeks to hang wif my fam/be extremely cold/visit the school i realllly want to go to for graduate school?? it's true, i am.

6. can't stop thinking about the universe

day 317

nick and i went to a ~star party~ in the middle of nowhere and looked through giant telescopes.

I SAW JUPITER.

I SAW THE MOON.

i felt tiny. i felt infinite.

it was magical.

day 316

this is just me holdin handz~ with my nephew

~~bad news about my car, y'all: last night it started smelling funny and i was like "oh it must just be that latte i spilled awhile ago, oops, guess i should've cleaned it instead of just laying a towel over it until it dried" BUT THEN i was driving with dacoda today and he was like "hey lizzie there's smoke coming out of the vents" and then he told me the smell was radiator fluid, and for those of you who don't know, dacoda is a genius on all things and he was right. mmmmmm

fffffuck! not entirely sure what's exactly wrong with it yet, just that it will be XXXpensive to fix. i am NOT ready to part ways with my car/my EXTENSION OF SELF that's been a huge part of my life since i was fifteen. it's been through too much with me to be considered a "possession", so many memories y'all, srsly.

i'll probably cry for days when i finally do i have to get a new car.

other than that, today was mostly spectacular.

i finally finally finally finished my netflix movie that i've had for liiike a month (NOT the way to use netflix to your full advantage). i got breakfast with my bf and it was yumsies. got some new paint, walked garp, baked CHEESECAKE SWIRL brownies, made a ~t-shirt scarf~ with amy, and watched a band play a few songs before i decided i needed to come home so i could go to sleep early-ish.

also:

jeeeeeeez this is perfect: jack antonoff's bLoG~*~

day 315

~embarrassing story~

for quite some time i've been waiting for a day when we got out of photography class early so i could take a self-portrait in the drawing room, which has these really bright track lights that i think would look cool. i just needed to get to drawing before everyone else so i could a) turn the lights on and b) be alone.

TODAY WAS THAT DAY.

i closed the door, set my camera on a table, and turned off the beep on my self-timer so as not to arouse suspicion from hall-wanderers. i hit the shutter button, and just as i stepped back from the camera, a girl in my class walked in (like 25 minutes early!!!! WHY why why why why) WHILE i had the camera propped up and was posing in front of it.... she just sort of laughed. i decided continuing my photoshoot wasn't an option, so i quickly turned it off and put it away. needless to say i did NOT get a good picture in the drawing room.

i suppose it would've been extra-hilarious if i had just kept trying to take pictures of myself with her in the room, but i get embarrassed pretty easily. sorry y'allll. wish i could submit this to the seventeen magazine tRaUmA-rAmA section.

ALSO

it's so warm outside for november. for you non-louisianian blog followers, it's certainly at least 80 degrees today. beeeeeautiful!

feel like doing things outside~~~~

tooooo bad i have to work all night//

day 314

"and when i fall asleep, i want to see you there in a dream"

playlist 111010:

1) Welcome, Ghosts- Explosions in the Sky

2) Thirteen- Ben Kweller

3) Sometime Around Midnight- The Airborne Toxic Event

4) The Golden Age- Beck

5) What the Fuck- fun. (an exceptional rip from a youtube video)

6) Poison Cup- M. Ward

7) Down by the Water- The Drums

8) Nerves of the Nightmind- Frontier Ruckus

9) Happy Birthday to Me (Feb. 15)- Bright Eyes

10) Coffee and Cigarettes- Jimmy Eat World

11) Zebra- Beach House

12) Famous Blue Raincoat- Leonard Cohen

13) Blood Bank- Bon Iver

14) Afraid Not Scared- Ryan Adams

15) Evening Kitchen- Band of Horses

16) Patterns of Fairytales- The National

17) Fall Asleep- Steel Train

... on repeat

day 313

ohhhh last night i stayed up reaalll late finishing my painting

day 312

IT IS LATE.

HERE'S A VLOG. HOPE YOU GUYS DON'T THINK I'M A REALLY BAD DRAWER.

BYE.

day 311

they follow us always

the woods the oceans the deserts the cities

they show up in our desolate dreams:

warm skin and

cold cold bones

and fuck, either they

still call or

don't call

our eyes

meet

their

perfect

eyes

and i thought they were phantoms

but they were

only humans

i am only human

so tragically

human

i am not your

muse

day 310

just going to a wedding, wearing this skirt i got in 8th grade, posing by the fence, chillin'

i went to the makers fair again. it's really fantastic for shreveport to have that, makes me not hate living here so much. kinda wish shreveport wasn't so small and i didn't know every single person in it, though. that'd be cool.

here's a few more peechurs from jessica and andy's wedding:

i GUESS i should've put my camera on auto so patrick and i didn't look like spooky ghosts :0(

oh and... this was YESTERDAY. i've been a day behind, but i promise to post today's picture today.

get back on track. mmmkkkk

day 309

"speak for yourself"

forgot to mention that earlier this week we had photography class at my professor's studio. it was so awesome y'all/made me want to become a profesh photographer and take pixxx of ~high school seniors~ and little children in fancy outfits

wish i had some softboxes or muted-color backdrops or remote-controlled-flashes or giant north-facing windows.

irving penn used north-facing windows and he was quite the photographic prodigy.

wish i was a photographic prodigy.

bye

day 308

everything was

happened-for-a-reason or impossibly-resilient,

forced-a-smile or it-could've-been-real

forcefully,

i try to remember each moment

helplessly,

all i can do is forget

day 307

since we didn't get home until after 3am, i took the liberty of giving myself the day off... skipping BOTH of my classes today.

also i'm using a new font color, this is a HUGE deal

day 306

fun. and steel train show in dallas last night y'alllll.

yes, yes i am holding the setlist in this picture (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

fun was amazing

STEEL TRAIN WAS AMAZING

i thought about writing an essay on ~show etiquette~ and handing out copies to everyone in the universe, but decided that would take too much time

instead here are a few valid points that would have been included:

CONCERT ETIQUETTE

• if attending a show in which you'll be standing near the front of the stage, squished up against people, hot, sweaty, etc. please take consideration of your hygiene. understandably due to the HORRIBLE weather, the stench of wet humans resided as the show progressed. but you know, showering, wearing deodorant, it's all great fun.
• IF STANDING AT THE VERY FRONT, PLEASE DON'T FEEL LIKE YOU NEED TO KEEP YOUR HANDS RAISED IN THE AIR THE ENTIRE TIME. IT BLOCKS THE STELLAR VIEW. enthusiastically raising your arms occasionally, thas jus fiiiine guys. but please. the entire show??
• if you're REALLY EXCITED about the band covering a song from the lead singer's old band (understandable. the format is fantastic/my fave/amazing) please refrain from CHANTING THE LYRICS louder than the singer of the band so the rest of us can enjoy one of the greatest songs of all time y'all, dog problems.
• if the girl behind you is wearing a stylish fanny pack, please do not continually comment on how stupid/ugly/dorky fanny packs are. they are actually really convenient, especially for wearing to shows.

i was totes jealous of people who could bring their un-profesh, un-changeable-lensed-cameras to the show to take pics and vids. wish i could've gotten a video of jack crowd-surfing or of the new fun. song which was sO gOoD it almost made me cry, really honestly, gave me chillz.

the security guy made me leave my camera in my car because IT'S TOO AWESOME and i might sell the pictures i suppose? i even offered to remove the battery but RULES ARE RULES. instead i just used my disposable camera:

pre-show self-portrait~~

steel train being rad dudes

just jack antonoff crowd-surfing during "s.o.g. burning in hell", nbd, this was right before i creepily touched his leg

handzz

george bein a total babe

nate bein a total babe

jack bein a total babe

jeeeez

you guys prob appreciate these photos' great quality huh

here's me again, appearing to be approximately 5 years old

jack at the merch table. such a hip guy.

i purchased a pretty awesome steel train sweatshirt AND i found a fun shirt outside that someone had dropped. SUCKS FOR THEM!! free shirt for me~

as a fair opportunity for anyone googling "LOST FUN SHIRT HOUSE OF BLUES DALLAS VERY IMPORTANT", you have 24 hours to tell me what size and the exact shirt description and i might consider making arrangements to return your apparel, after i wear it a few times.

a few thought-provoking questions:

• how do you guys feel about clapping along to the beat during songs? what about for the rhythmically-impaired?
• what about singing along to the songs that play over the speakers between sets?
• and what about having your band name tattooed on your arm?*

*EVERYTHING nate ruess does is pure genius. i love his soul and wish i could invade his brain. thinkin about getting ~*~THE CINNAMON GIRLZ~*~ as a chest piece.