day 31

hello, nice to meet you!

i am lizzie's silly poodle, garp!

my maamm bringing home ICED GREEN TEA FROM PANERA BREAD brightened an otherwise shitty day.

..amor fati..

day 30

"i walk these streets with a lonely sky"

today was really just really productive

i really feel like i've made some breakthroughs in my lady gaga/documentary fan club*** by watching about 1/4 confessions of a superhero and also by accidentally clicking on lady gaga in my itunes

and also in the planning of the upcoming mardi gras ball, which consisted of me lying in bed texting kelly that we need to start planning it.

SO WHAT IF I'VE BEEN IN A RECLINING POSITION FOR 4 HOURS NOW?

also after taking the above picture i was convinced that i must be part albino

so i looked up if that was possible

and i found THIS:

*** this is a true fan club. we haven't had any meetings yet, but they're in the near future i'm sure. let me know if you'd like to be a member.

day 29

my boyf's sweater

I LOVE BULLDOGS

did you know that?

i'm going to get one WITHIN THIS YEAR I PROMISE and name it morrissey. hah i have had this plan for farrr too long

anyway today was productive and i didn't work (!) so i spent the majority of the morning researching cool disorders like stockholm syndrome and phantom limb syndrome.

i also finished goodfellas FINALLY after about ohhhh i don't know 10 days AND the visitor which took me approximately 5 days to watch. wah wah wah

then i spent a considerable amount of time on this website AND THEN DACODA AND I MADE ROOTBEER COOKIES.

end.

day 28

Chimpanzees (Pan troglodytes) are highly social animals that tend to live in a fusion-fission society. This means that the chimps belong to one big group that is broken up into smaller subgroups. The subgroups eat, sleep, and travel together, though the chimps may also spend some time on their own. In the wild, males tend to be more social than females but this is not the case with chimps in captivity. Female chimps in captivity will form life-long friendships with other female chimps, as will older male chimps.

Sociability in chimps is also dependent on age. Young chimps’ social behavior is directly related to the social behavior of their mothers. In late adolescence, males will spend a considerable amount of their time alone while frequently challenging other male chimps to establish dominance hierarchy. During this time females will go through social experiences related to social events, and eventually may become a part of a neighboring community. Since male and female chimps mate more often than is necessary for impregnation, copulation seems to be a social function as well. It develops bonds between the males and females, and ensures group unity.

day 27

"break this tired old routine

and this time don't make me leave

i am a breathing time machine

i'll take you all for a ride"

here's my first wee little project for my class:

and also,

here's a pretty rad picture i found in an old dresser:

and ALSO,

here's a BRILL image from nash geographic:

and lastly,

i've voted this the Official Song of Day 27:

day 26

day 26 is also the name of this really awesome band:

PLEASE DON'T GET TOO EXCITED

day 25

i'd love to hear my memories,

swift and stale

a breath of fresh air adhered to my sold-out soul

i rang the proverbial bell once

i've been the vitality twice

and i've held your hand while you picked out a coffin

and a gravesite

and a time

day 24

release

day 23

my entire life

i have focused on my own flaws

and other's beauty

i am full of love, but

i have never been able to turn it inward

day 22

ohh no big deal just doubled our number of found geocaches today

day 21

"it has been a beautiful

fight

still

is."

day 20

my haunted thoughts are dancing

my breath sympathizes with my own torture

i am secretly unnoticed

then, nothing

day 19

GOT MY LISA FRANK NOTEBOOK READY FOR BACK 2 SKOOL

...which was surprisingly uneventful. the class is scheduled from 4-7:40 but we only stayed until 4:30. and i think i was the only one who was disappointed about that.

why did i start college when i was 18 and had no idea what i was doing..?

the classroom had all this art/paintings all over the walls and it inspired me.

and i wanted to ask my professor so many questions but i felt like not being the one to keep the entire class late.. since i got a YESSS WE'RE OUT EARLY vibe, which is normal i suppose.

but i can't wait to do all the projects in my textbooks

END.

day 18

((ohhh i thought this marker was washable))

why didn't anyone tell me me first day as a manager (well sortof) started today?

it was all horrible and awesome at the same time. it reminded me of directing a play, which i've missed.

BUT people that i really like working with are leaving to go to other stores

boooo!

YOUREE DRIVE 4 LYFE

_____________

terday i made:

thai chick-un pizza!

i'm a pretty awesome chef lately

i'm thinking about hiring a food photographer for my elegant cuisine.

also, have i mentioned I START SCHOOL TOMORROW

it's only one class because it's all i could afford

but i'm VERY MUCH looking forward to it

art education for elementary school

i've already read like half of my textbook hah

i'm wayyyy excited :o)

day 17

"if i had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense.

nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't.

and contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be.

and what it wouldn't be, it would. you see?"

geocaching adventures

and sunday is my favorite day

day 16

strawberry blueberry moosewood muffins****

and for lunch:

meeoowwwww

_______

i saw the lovely bones yesterday, and loved it

i'm very captivated by movies and books that portray death/after-life

but movies mostly, because the images are enchanting

and it's refreshing to see depictions of imaginations that haven't been lost somehow

****WHICH BY THE WAY ARE DELICIOUS

i just ate 3 while this was posting

mmmm mm mmmm

day 15

today i am touchable

day 14

reasons why today is better than yesterday:

1. OSIRIS IS BACK

2. i only had one very small minor panic attack

3. my mom baked blueberry muffins

4. i drove with my windows down because it's not freezing

maybe there is an end to this season after all

day 13

this picture is awkward

i'm so awkward

i'm sorry

my cat osiris is missing

and everything feels wrong

day 12

i spent 6 hours of my day trying to catch my breath

my anxiety is back.... DANG IT

i even tried breathing exercises,

meditating,

nothing helped///

BUT

i did start knitting a pair of socks today

and tonight, i'm going to finish this graphic novel Blankets that i borrowed from phil 10 months ago

it's sooo good

i never knew i would enjoy a book like this

day 11

the truth is,

i was never done living my fantasy

and as the world shows me its yellowed teeth

i can do nothing but show mine back

day 10

revolutionary road

groceries

the imaginarium of dr. parnassus

sun-dried tomato pesto

donkey kong

gamenight

NO WHERE IN THIS LIST IS VANILLA SOY YOGURT

WHICH IS APPARENTLY UNAVAILABLE

IN THE SHREVEPORT AREA ON SUNDAYS

i'm pleased to announce that i stayed under my $70 weekly budget for the first week!

$7.59 on a sweater from goodwill

$5 tip at a restaurant (i had a giftcard for the actual meal)

$40 on sock knitting classes for 4 weeks

total: $52.59

though to be fair, my parents and dacoda provided a considerable amount of my food intake for this week

next week might be harder.

day 9

my entire life has become coffee-scented

the bulk of my day was spent working

and then watching a movie that evoked feelings of passionate hatred towards another human being.

(watch Dear Zachary on netflixxx instant)

also beating an entire world on donkey kong country with dacoda

and now, rest for my tired eyes

tired soul

sleep

day 8

dacoda took thisphoto

the plan was to include my poodle garp

BUT

he only loves to be in pictures when he's not supposed to be

hey isn't it fun to work until 11pm and then have to work at 6am the next day?

mm mmmm mmmmm

day 7

I am

Watching a movie and my mind starts to wander

My eyes start to lose focus

The image becomes lights

With no meaning

The sound becomes static

With no feeling

And my head feels like it’s going to implode

And unrequited love really can last 7 years

day 6

if ever i was to reach

my bright hand into

the dark night

and felt nothing,

it meant there was no one there,

i thought.

day 5

cereal bowl of tears

day 4

i've been on a movie-watching spree ever since i found out i've seen considerably less movies than everyone else

yesterday dacoda and i saw the road

this morning i finished lymelife and started the royal tenenbaums

i took an early morning nap and peculiar things were happening in my semi-conscious state

i thought my eyelids were clear and there was a bright light shining on my body,

i woke up paralyzed,

and i could hear the blood rushing through my veins

also today begins mine and dacoda's $70/week budget.

i attempted a $10/week budget when i got back from california but that didn't even last one week.

IT'S HARDER THAN IT SEEMS

especially when i have this detrimental shopping habit

i've noticed that i'm desperately trying to establish routines in every aspect of my life

without even meaning to

(this is one of them)

day 3

s u r v i v e

t h e

w i n t e r

i painted this silly little kitty to look like my recently-deceased cat mimzy:

i miss her and

hopefully i'll get her ashes back soon

so i can feel like she's still here

hopefully

hopefully

day 2

in the most detailed dream i've had SO FAR THIS YEAR,

my niece and nephews got a game while they were staying with my family. they opened the box and placed a pillar with an apple on top on my window seat in my bedroom.

the point of the game was... a ghost would come and take the apple, and then hide it somewhere and you had to find it. sometimes the ghost would leave something in its place, like a teacup or a pizza.

the kids would take turns finding the apple and putting it back.

it disturbed me so much to know that a ghost was in my room that i couldn't sleep at night, i would just wait and watch the apple to see if it moved. watching it seemed to prevent the ghost from moving it. i thought about switching rooms and sleeping somewhere else, but then there were hidden rules to the game like it had to happen in the same room and with the same person that it started with.

i woke up from the dream and lay awake wondering when the ghost was coming for a few minutes before realizing it wasn't actually happening.

there was no game, my niece and nephews had gone back to wisconsin, and there are no ghosts in my room.

but when i finally fell back asleep, i kept dreaming about the apple.

straaaange

(i'm so fascinated by the potential after-life.

and i miss the rest of my family being in shreveport)

day 1

somedays

i find myself praying for peace

happy 2010!

zeros and ones

new years are always refreshing