day 59

**headband, scarf, socks, shawl/shoulder thing/?? all knitted by my maaaam

ducks and shadows by mother nature

i mean, sort of the point of this 365 day project is to have some sort of mention of my day

so...

TODAY i got to eat kaleidoscoops, have b& practice, AND gamenight

i feel like finishing watching singles, a great FILM (how have i never seen this before!?) with AWESOME 90s outfits for me to copy, a tim burton cameo, REM on the soundtrack, and you know, cool plot events like safe-sex dress like your favorite contraceptive parties

but instead i'll probably go to sleep because ohhh i work at 5am

oh hey, good morning pretty much

i feel like what i just attempted to write is spasmatic? i had to just now look up that word to make sure it existed

my anxxxiety is running free at this very moment

well okay, i hope everyone is having a really great night

and please spend a few minutes admiring my mom's knitting skillz

day 58

"so take heart, sweetheart

or i will take it from you"

w h a t a m i d o i n g h e r e

day 57

"the end of the gifts"

i am standing on the edge of a cliff

i balance carefully as my toes grip the sharp bones and rocks

i bend down to graze my fingers along them

i do not feel my fingers

the blood, now smeared across my translucent thighs,

glistens in the faint reminder of the sun

my eyes are fixated on the breathless waves,

and then,

my foreign limbs,

each outstretched in a final, hopeless reach towards daylight

i wipe the taste of winter from my lips,

and begin to throw my belongings into the atlantic ocean

where i once felt warm

and

whole

swarms of sealife dance below me,

now entangled in my colors

swans and jewels and coffee-scented dreams that once poisoned my skin

all robes and thrones wasted

and my soldier's heart that i kept long after its last beat

and

and

i turn,

paint myself with shades of former lovers,

and then,

i jump.

day 56

ohh nothing, this is just a picture taken after i won $12.80 on jackpot party classic

and then i lost $2 on super jackpot party.

so that means i won a grand total of $10.80

and i went with $10

THAT'S MORE THAN DOUBLE

i really want some san pellegrino bad y'all

day 55

*surely you are all VERY IMPRESSED with my photo-editing skills

q: did i just wake up from a MUCH NEEDED 2 hour nap?

a: yes, yes i did

so, in honor of naps almost as long as my nights (lately), i bring you.......

MY TOP 5 FAVORITE FOODS:

5) pumpkin raisin crunch cereal

4) black and white cookies

3) swiss cheese fondue with good bread and apples

2) Fuji Apple Chicken Salad with no chicken from Panera Bread mmm

1) GRILLLED CHEEZZ AND TOMATO SOUP (this counts as one thing because it's eaten together usually)

!

day 54

"my love is all eagles and tigers

bald eagles

sabertooth tigers

my love is either endangered or gone

but your love

is a newborn

i'd never seen the likes

your love, something newborn

and it changed everything"

++++

my teacher either:

a) has only one shirt (a dark green, button-up, with one pocket considerably higher than the other)

b) has a weekly schedule, like i did for a short while in third grade, where he has seven outfits and wears them all on their respective days, therefore wears the same shirt every tuesday

c) always wears the same shirt to my class on purpose because it's hilarious

day 53

there is still a part of me that bleeds

day 52

i had a feeling when i grabbed your hand in the rain

that we were both monsters then

sharing an impossible dance

and we would turn everything into belts

pulled tight around our waists

so we could never feed again

day 51

the greatest find at the flea market:

HAH! i laugh every time i look at this beautiful creation, it's a CAT ANGEL.

not only cat but PERSIAN CAT. so perfect!

day 50

playlist 021910:

1) I Believe in Your Victory- This Will Destroy You

2) Ask Her to Dance- Coconut Records

3) I Can Feel a Hot One- Manchester Orchestra

4) For Emma- Bon Iver

5) If It's the Beaches- The Avett Brothers

6) Your House 2007- Jimmy Eat World

7) Untitled 01- Brand New

8) Threes- The Format

9) Lovers Turn Into Monsters- Bright Eyes

10) Better Love- Steel Train

11) I Saw You Laughing- Limbeck

12) The Crane Wife pt 1&2- The Decemberists

13) All You Do Is Talk- Black Rebel Motorcycle Club

14) Elephants- Rachel Yamagata

15) Everywhere, an Ocean- Alive in Wild Paint

16) I'm Leaving- Reuben's Accomplice

17) Take Your Time (Coming Home)- fun.

day 49

dallas tejas

day 48

fun. concert

i believe on this night i experienced the entire range of possible emotions:

an overwhelming feeling of sadness and loss accompanied with an incredible feeling of belonging and peace

i saw my ex-boyfriend there, which was strange to say the least. i haven't seen/heard from/heard about him in around 8 months and though i had been warned (by multiple people fucckkk) that he would be there, i thought the venue was big enough that i wouldn't run into him/make things weird.

for those of you who don't know my personal history, and i'm under the impression that a considerable amount of people who read this don't, chris cut off all contact with me (understandably so) shortly after we broke up.

so after accidentally glancing in his direction a few times and pretending not to see him, i waved at him. uncomfortable, i'd say, for two people who spent three years together (term used loosely) but at least someone i considered my best friend and at times only friend, so these feelings are understandable i suppose.

i'm a thinker. it's a curse. i am overwhelmed by this world always.

ANYWAY, fun. was amazing as usual.

although having post-show conversations with the band would be considerably better if i wasn't the most socially awkward human being on the planet.

pixxx:

i tried to find a sweet vid of take your time coming home, my fave fun. song but i couldn't find one that accurately conveyed the energy i feel when i hear it

so just see them live asap and get itt yall

day 47

1. brown eyebrows with black hair, nice

2.

eh it's a fanmade video i found on youtube but i've been listening to this song quite a bit in the last few weeks

3. i'll be in dallas tomorrow night for the fun.?!*** show so no upload.

but i assure you the day 48 photo will be taken on day 48

***

4. dallas = not only fun.^^^ but also panera bread, re-cords, and perhaps a new dress or maybe a necklace or something else that i REALLY DO NEED

5.

day 46

"i play back everything that has happened to me before this. i want to ask Big Guy if he is doing this, too. i want him to know what it clearly seems to me: that if it's true your life flashes past your eyes before you die, then it is also the truth that your life rushes forth when you are ready to start to truly be alive."

day 45

fear of dying

fear of

fear

day 44

my forehead is large- it opens up wide

to reveal tiny curling flesh-

keeping me up at night,

it is unsure

it twists and

folds and

thinks

with every beat of

my heart is soft and gray

it has been broken and

broken others

it is also unsure

it gives me hot blood,

which has convinced me to open

my eyes are small and deep

in them dance a thousand oceans

they have seen wonder and

terror and

you

they are always unsure

they weep and are covered by

my hands grip and fight,

hold and reach

they confuse emptiness for hatred-

and hold each other always

they too, are unsure

when i have been defeated, i bring them to

my forehead

to cover my aching brain

day 43

here's the VERY IMPORTANT thing::

i didn't have internet connection today

so i had to upload this from dacoda's computer

which is fine BUT

in the event i can't possibly figure out a way to upload my 365 day project on the exact day,

the new rule is this: THE PICTURE HAS TO BE TAKEN ON THE DAY. but thats all.

okay.

i feel like the melting snow is freeing our frozen city and it's beautiful

day 42

"glittering

glittering and digesting

voicelessness

the snow has no voice"

day 41

got my bonnaroo ticket, feelin’ pretty great

been eatin’ cookies for 3 hours straight

met up wit my homies dacoda and chalad

at da olive garden for pasta, breadsticks and salad

gonna do some homework, don’t stop, don’t stop

write an acoustic version of “lollipop”

knit a couple rows

bang a couple hoes

listen to some tunes along the way

maybe squeeze some laundry into my day

yeah das right, my name be lizzie

always, oh always busy

loves to have some free time but can’t do it all!

gotta rise early for a 3:45am wakeup call!

day 40

my bones are cold my eyelids are heavy my lungs are filled with water

my life is a carbon copy

but parts of me are still infant

day 39

photo by dacoda montana louisiana

monday night bowling

day 38

superbowl? NO THANKYOU

day 37

things i like, beginning with each letter of the alphabet

alphabetical lists

bedknobs and broomsticks (the movie. not the actual things)

competitive bowling

dacoda (even though he wasn't impressed with pink's mtv and grammy performances)

eating breakfast with my bunny when i have to wake up earrrrly to go to work

fun.

grilled cheese and tomato soup mmm

hairless cats

inventing new good drinks at starbucks like donut creme frappuccinos

jamba juice

karma

listening to trains in the morning

melrose flea market

neil young cover bands!!

origami

purple rain

quiet nights when i can read magazines, knit, and watch freaks and geeks

removing dead animals from the middle of the road

saying foreign-language words in the middle of otherwise english sentences

three hundred sixty-five day projects

"under the covers" mix tape series

vegan cookbooks

wearing a lotzzz of jewelry

xtube.com. i mean come on, amateur porn

yelping everything i do because EVERYONE CARES ABOUT MY OPINION OBV

ziggy stardust (as a song, album, persona, and fashion inspiration)

and here is a link to a complete alphabet of things i don't like

day 36

blindsided

day 35

i'm bringing back frosted pink lipstick

mmmm

knitting

magazines

freaks and geeks

night

day 34

after watching the documentary trekkies today, i've decided to start a collection.

i'm thinking maybe russian nesting dolls

or perhaps sphynx cats

day 33

"Hey! I know you! You're that girl who can't even do a CHERRY BOMB!"

when i was in third grade, this was yelled in my direction as a girl in my elementary school recognized me in a public park.

for the VERY IMPORTANT record, a cherry bomb is where you hang upside down from the monkey bars, holding on with your legs, and drop without using your hands. a nearly impossible trick for an awkward 8-year-old girl to accomplish without breaking something or dying.

i couldn't think of anything cunning or witty to say back.

simply... traumatic

day 32

i am emerging

my cracks are

palpable

my vices are

bright