day 57

"the end of the gifts"

i am standing on the edge of a cliff

i balance carefully as my toes grip the sharp bones and rocks

i bend down to graze my fingers along them

i do not feel my fingers

the blood, now smeared across my translucent thighs,

glistens in the faint reminder of the sun

my eyes are fixated on the breathless waves,

and then,

my foreign limbs,

each outstretched in a final, hopeless reach towards daylight

i wipe the taste of winter from my lips,

and begin to throw my belongings into the atlantic ocean

where i once felt warm

and

whole

swarms of sealife dance below me,

now entangled in my colors

swans and jewels and coffee-scented dreams that once poisoned my skin

all robes and thrones wasted

and my soldier's heart that i kept long after its last beat

and

and

i turn,

paint myself with shades of former lovers,

and then,

i jump.