day 243

my life

has/will soon become workschoolworkschoolworkschool

the end of summer is depressingly beautiful

day 242

10 pictures for my photography class:

"alien"

"spelling lesson"

"or maybe it doesn't"

"the debate of selfless vs. selfish love"

"i invest in a single lie"

"the trek"

"i am already a ghost"

"monsters eating kittens"

"sunday funday"

"golden"

disclaimer::: i have NO IDEA what i'm doing as far as technique is concerned, only what i'm trying to convey (sort of). none of them are edited because that would be cheating!

day 241

click: i am already a ghost

today was do-homework-and-get-shit-done day.

i've been experimenting with my camera. that picture ^^ isn't edited. we aren't allowed to edit the photos we turn in for class, at least not yet. is it acceptable to turn in self-portraits? should i tell my class/professor about my bLoG~~*~?? am i really just stressing about nothing at all? i think so, yes.

truth: sometimes i just feel incredibly discouraged from going out in public. i see people i know EVERYWHERE i go (one of the many downsides to living in the same small-ish city for 16 years), and let's say on the rare occasion the conversation strays from the usual "hey! hey, how are you? good, how are you? good"... well then i just usually end up saying something very awkward and also regrettable. i have a passionate hatred for small talk.

day 240

madeloveimpossible.

late upload... i've been so tired and could barely keep my eyes open---> 3-4 hour nap, MUCH NEEDED.

plus dacoda and i finished watching the departed. brilliant/wack movie. i haven't seen most movies that everyone else has seen. name a movie, i probably haven't seen it. or if i have i probably don't remember it.

^^i think everything is illuminated is one of the most beautifully written books in existence. i finished it this morning (sunday).

must. immediately. readallofjonathansafranfoer'sotherbooks.

my first photography assignment is to take ten pictures of anything i want.

taking ten pictures? easy.

taking ten pictures and knowing it's for a grade and everyone in my class is going to scrutinize each image? SCARY

day 239

transitions.

i've got mixed feelings about the changing seasons.

day 238

reading by lamplight

songs of leonard cohen

then, dreaming

day 237

ooOoOoOhh sorry this was uploaded late but last night i was just very tired.

also this is the cutest picture of osiris ever

day 236

keeety folder^__^

got those for me and phil today. i love school supplies a lot//

DEAR EVERYONE IN THE UNIVERSE,

please learn how standing in line works.

THE NEXT PERSON GOES NEXT. it shouldn't be too hard to remember. i was forced to create a minor scene/informative lecture in michael's because some people just never learned that one simple rule.

BESIDES THAT. i had photography today yayayayayy

that could easily become my flavorite class.

cain't wait to start getting assignments, y'all.

i'm doing portraits in two of my classes! and that's about all i know for now.

i went swimming tonight when i got off work because i've been anxious lately for no apparent reason. the water/waves/energy exertion helps somewhat. jusst been feelin like i can't catch my breath and can't calm down for the past few days. HOPEFULLY once i've established a reliable schedule and get more sleep that will go away.

day 235

children of the 90s

FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL*

just had two classes today

GOT LOST on my way to my 2nd one. very fortunately noah was lost too and we found it together, so i didn't have to go sit in my car and cry.

then i had to go get art supplies which are too expaaaanzive for someone who's been unemployed all summer. so my mom had to buy them. luckily i've been working 39248719023 hours so i can pay her back soon

here's just a terrific page of first-day-of-school pictures from a scrapbook my sister made me:

i really hope you like my tazmanian devil high-tops in 3rd grade and my reflective pants in 7th grade. please click on it to view it larger, and then spend a considerable amount of time examining each one of these pictures. you won't regret your decision.

*if any of you are wondering, but lizzie, i thought you already had your college degree! why ever would you be in school? WELL, the thing is, i didn't decide what i wanted to do until my last semester of college, when i (sort of randomly) had the strong desire to be an art therapist. i finished my psychology degree but i have verrry little art background/training/talent/technique.. almost every graduate school i've looked at requires at least 18 art credits for an art therapy masters degree. i have 9, and this semester i'm getting 15 more. i am:

• really really excited to be back at school
• in way over my head
• going to make allllll A's because somewhere between graduating college and now, i became a perfectionist who won't accept anything less without self-deprecating consequences.

day 234

sunday funday/gamenight

day 233

potential things to do on a saturday night beginning with each letter of the alphabet:

Amputate a limb/give in to body integrity identity disorder

Build a sandcastle for a baby sea turtle to live in

Calculate math problems just for fun!

Draw a scene depicting santa claus having brunch with heath ledger's character in 10 things i hate about you

Eat at monjuni's

Fear the reaper

Go nightswimming by yourself while your dogs chase you around the pool

Howl at the moon

Interpretive dance

Jam to Under the Covers part IV

Kidnap your arch nemesis and force them to read all 11 of your elaborate stories about hammerhead sharks

Learn another language (sign language?!)

Meditate

Negotiate sleeping arrangements with your siamese twin (rare, unlikely)

Organize your spice collection

Pet your cat even though he keeps running away from you

Quit smoking crack

Race your boyfriend on mariokart

Stay awake really much later than you should

Teach your nephew how to pick his nose

Update your blogggg

Vanish

Write a letter to yourself in 10 years and put it in a time capsule

X-ray your skull

Yawn repeatedly while reviewing the 5 ballet positions

Zap someone with a real true lightsaber

day 232

oh hey

i'm back in the groooooove at work. just in time for pumpkin spice.

my boyfriend's been backk in town so i've been doing normal things with him like watch troll 2 and eat omelettes and stuffff

my 6th year of college (!!) begins monday. i'm sooo very excited, more excited than i've ever been for school except maybe my last semester at centenary because i mean COME ON i had directing and character development that year.

you might think that i'm being sarcastic, but i'm really serious. i'm very much looking forward to classes/new art supplies/makin fraands/being too busy with homework to do anything else.

ALSO this weekend i was supposed to do something awesome but now i can't because i couldn't get my shifts at work covered, so my dreams are shattered and my heart is broken.

that's all

day 231

this is serious.

playlist 081910:

1) Passing Afternoon- Iron and Wine

2) You and I Undercover- Steel Train

3) Album of the Year- The Good Life

4) Golden- My Morning Jacket

5) Bruised Orange (Chain of Sorrow)- Justin Vernon

6) Petals- The Honorary Title

7) Vanderlyle Crybaby Geeks- The National

8) A Fond Farewell- Elliott Smith

9) I Found a Whistle- MGMT

10) Day You Fell Apart- The New Frontiers

11) Daysleeper- R.E.M.

12) Give Up the Ghost- Magnolia Sons

13) Temazcal- Monsters of Folk

14) Make This Go On Forever- Snow Patrol

15) Always Be- Jimmy Eat World

16) The Last Man on Earth- Cory Branan

17) Hand-Me-Down Tune- The Avett Brothers

day 230

dizzy, dizzy dreams

he was flying then,

i only slept

i'm cursed with...

the mind of a broken machine

and the song of a fallen star,

beyond my musical dilemma

day 229

in case you guys were wondering how i've chosen to spend my last days of freedom, last night i stayed up playing mariokart on super nintendo by myself until after midnight

today i time-trialed all the courses as toad.

this is a really great use of time.

also, because i love self-analyzing, i've been thinking about how AWSUM i am at making decisions, whether i choose something randomly (college) or carefully weigh all the consequences (usually/lately) so, on the path to success, i've created this::::: http://www.formspring.me/trexlizdrex for use as an advice column. no one has asked me any questions yet, but i'm pretty sure someone will soon be like "lizzie, should i order a really expensive meal at a restaurant and then hardly eat any of it?" or "hey, should i go to a public place and talk loudly about my sex life?"*

ALSO one last thing. tomorrow is my first day at work after a longggg summer break. welcome back to my life, caffeine.

*these are only examples, but both answers are NO

day 228

why yes, i did go shopping this morning. yes, i did buy an awesome hat and leather skirt. no i didn't need to, considering i just spent A FUCKING LOT OF MONEY ON TUITION.

sk00l starts in 1 week y'all. get it good.

day 227

oh, fondue

i just want to stick my life on a fork and dip it in cheese and chocolate

day 226

i don't think this picture accurately conveys how much bronzer i'm wearing.

this was for allison's jersey shore-themed housewarming party, and this is my half-assed attempt at a costume given i've only seen 1/2 of one episode.

LET'S BE HONEST HERE GUYS. usually at parties like this (where people draanking and i don't know most people) i just sit by myself awkwardly unless there is dancing in which case...

or unless someone wants to talk to me about something other than why i don't drink

(unless of course they are genuinely interested and i'll happily share with them my need to be in completely control of every situation, the history of addiction in my genetic makeup, and the embarrassing stories of what has happened to me the two times i've been drunk in my entire existence)

so when everyone else left to go to bar hopping ya'llllll at midnight, i stayed here, washed my face, read my book, and went to sleep. and it was beautiful.

day 225

karaoke, as usual

day 224

MY BAD y'all, i haven't turned on my computer since the first day i was here. so here are some late uploads..

clearly in this picture i am painting a masterpiece at painting with a twist in sugarland, where everyone sits in a room and paints the same picture (which is already drawn for you) unless you rebel and choose to add accessories to your owl like glasses, eyebrows, and a mustache, or a pipe, top-hat, and cane.

i've done this once before, and i got really frustrated because i couldn't make my peacock look like the example painting. generally i think trying to paint something that someone's already painted is silly/stiffens creativity/whatever. which is why i added some flair to my owl. i mean otherwise it is really fun to sit in a room with a lot of people and paint and eat cheese.

i can't wait to start my acrylic painting class next week!~~~

day 223

"and look at me, little igor, the bruises go away, and so does how you hate, and so does the feeling that everything you receive in life is something you have earned" - jsf

day 222

tomorrow begins my biannual trip to houston.

i've prepared the following itinerary for some guidelines to my last vacation of the summer before i go back to work and school(!)

i have a feeling this is too small to read, aannd probably a good thing because you might think i'm crayyzay plus none of this is real and i spent way too long making that which makes me believe i might actually be a little crazzzy after all y'all

N-E-WAYZ i still gots a couple thangz to do on my to-do list for tonight like play with my keety a lot before i leave her for a few more days and she forgets who i am completely.

day 221

mmMMMmMMMmMmmMmMM

homemade ice cream is D*LISH

you guys probably aren't aware that i (my mom) purchased an ice cream maker recently (best idea ever!)

for this SPice cream i used this recipe

its so good and i want to hurry up and eat it all so i can make a new kind soon

this week i made a facebook page for my band

if you know me actually in real life you might have seen it already, but if you found this really rare, fascinating, exemplary blog through lookbook or a creepy google search like "girl wearing glasses+new glasses+girl with new glasses+hot girl glasses"* then you should LIKE my b& now plz, because we are awesome and are soon going to cover the avett brothers (YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST!!)

okokokok now y'all i'm probably going to listen to this a few more hundred times until i fall asleep

*this is a true thing that really did happen. i have a stat counter that shows me how people got here. but don't worry i still don't know WHO you are, only where you came from. feel free to read anonymously.

day 220

hey i hope you guys are enjoying reading about my exciting life as much as i'm enjoying living it.

the weekend:

on friday eve i had an indoor picnic and watched a movie with mitch and his girlfriend

saturday-farmers market

breakfast with phil, dylan and amy at another broken egg (sooo good omelettes mm)

flea market... got a LAMP FOR MY NIGHTSTAND to sit next to mimzy's urn, so i can read at night without bright incandescent lights burning my retinas. also i purchased a humpty dumpty toy for my maaom and an owl wooden plank thing you know just because i collect owl things. (too bad today i dropped one of my owl bookends and it broke! shattered! destroyed!)

also, yesterday dylan and i went to noah's wedding. wedding's always make me inexplicably nervous. and when i have to be quiet for such occasions... weddings, funerals, moments of silence, etc. i always have to hold back a mysterious, unintentional laughter that's dying to come out to make the situation as awkward as possible for me.

saturday night i saw a show at dalzell YOUNG BUFFALO. they played a fleetwood mac cover! rad

then today i just did whatever i wanted like fed dacoda's tarantula and baked a cake for patrick for his birthday

hahah!! sadly that's how most of my cakes are turning out lately. this one was a dr. pepper experiment gone awry

but it tasted delicious and really that's all that should be judged when judging a cake y'all.

aaand then we had gamenight. nickelodeon trivia that i got from a flea market in branson but it was TOO HARD.

and then i went to take experimental light/long exposure pictures with amy, and patrick and phil joined us for some great cool awesome neat pix

this is really just a lot of unimportant information. the kind i would make fun of someone else for sharing on the internet. i apologize. it won't happen again.

day 219

"i keep my eyes open"

we spoke of

forever,

tunes that lingered,

spirits and branches

among twinkling storms,

and mirrors that broke

in the languid parking lots

or always on concrete, at least

then, shaken mountains

were

always

gone always

and then the arrow:

deafening

blinding

numbing (thank

god)

and these began to haunt my dreams:

the girl,

with long, evil hair

the painless traps

birthdays

and names that i thought of

yesterday

or

fucking

forever ago

day 218

"just some old stuff that still applies to my life now because nothing ever really leaves"

day 217

just a few thangzz~~~

1. i can't do ONE push-up. i tried today on mandy's wii fit :o(

2. i'm getting facebook-bullied. seriously

3. i should never be allowed to trim my own bangs ever again

4. on saturday morning i'm going to the farmer's market and the flea market. my mom's going with me to get ughhhh meat from the farmer's market. this means i still need someone to go with me to the flea market.... just, you know, text me y'all, not all at once please

day 216

just today has been all-around not that great.

i had this genius idea to get a lot of different jobs for a month-ish, like waitress (never done it) and bartender and workin 9-5, and experience life and blog about it (lOvE bLoGgInG~~*) but then i realized a) how would i have time for that unless i wait until after school!! b) no one would hire me if they noticed i only kept jobs for a month and c) it's probably been done before a millll y'all

but really that doesn't matter because everything's been done before and then the world ended and we started over. meow.

day 215

ALERT THE PRESS

i have officially resigned from my position as laziest person on earth

today i did MANY THINGS including:

went rollerblading with rachael

went swimming* twice

made these comme des garcons knockoffs from some old vans that i had...

*swimming, here, refers to the act of swimming around and doing tricks in the water (water olympics), rather than the usual just standing around trying to stay the most dry possible while still being in water

day 214

iNsIgHt:

i blame myself for everything that goes wrong in my immediate reach.

although i may outwardly blame someone/something else (in arguments i am always right)

it's all my fault, all the time

i can trace it back to my catholic schooling, birth order, sex, nature, etc, etc, etc

my brother's drug addiction, my fault

any animal (even human) i've ever known to die, my fault

lost love and friendship, my fault

i can't help but dwell on the fact that anything could have been prevented if i had done something differently (or at all)

i live with a constant feeling of guilt

it's self-destructive, i'm aware, but i've been like this for as long as i can remember

now i think i'll watch this music video and read everything is illuminated until i fall asleep

day 213

^the new frontiers^

i can't decide if my glasses make me look like

or

the nurse from problem child 2!