day 273

oh hey guys. sorry about NEVER HAVING TIME TO UPDATE THIS.

i'm reallyyy looking forward to the weekend so i can have time to do things besides go to class and work and do homework. although i do have to spend a considerable amount of time doing homework anyway. did you guys know that i thought it would be a good idea to do two paintings last week when we were only assigned one?? hmmm?

i even spent about 17 hours considering quitting my job, because then i would have more time to do things like:

watch all of stanley kubrick's movies

eat a meal that isn't toast

geocache

clean/organize my filthy room

have a radio show

but then i decided that i should just treat life like a ~*fun challenge*~ and also i need money, so i'll remain employed for now. i just SRSLY need to work on my time management skills and learn how to function as a human being on very little sleep during the week.

day 272

i hope you guys like my cool sleep mask and my gradient flares.

day 271

life balance.

since i got this rad new purse, i tried to take a picture like the girl who was wearing it in the catalogue. you know, skipping through a field *n* stuff

so i drove to a park with a significant amount of people present and propped my camera on the hood of my car and swung around, lookin' good, lookin' normal

day 270

today was really a beautiful day even though it started out sort of chilly.

it's always lovely when the weather first starts to change. but winter, don't think i won't despise you once you've fully arrived.

today was such a nice day and i am in such a *cheery* mood, in fact, that i don't even mind that i'll be staying up until infinity o'clock doing homework.

now, i have some brilllliant pictures to show you:

photography assignment due tomorrow,

and i'm having a difficult time deciding between these two ~man cave~ photos.

when i consider what makes a "good" photograph, i ask myself the professional question "does it make your eyes happy?"

this first one makes my eyes happy, but it doesn't fit into the RULE OF THIRDS which is important y'all. the second one does, but i think is too red for the feeling i'm trying to convey, although i also like the red. i'm just undecided. help, please?*

also i don't know if my teach is HIP enough to appreesh this beauty of a photo (which btw has every necessary element of "good" composition)

HERE is a masterpiece that i finished likkke 10 minutes ago, a stunning representation of edvard munch's the scream:

AND one more. this was intended as my 365-day picture for today, but duhhh my camera was zoomed way in. i'm just trying to show you guys this really awesome desert landscape that i got an A on. just ignore the way cool red mom shorts just this once.

*this implies that i would greatly appreciate anyone's advice. my boyfriend/gr8est d00d alive prefers the second one... what do YOU think? (this isn't as big of a deal as i'm making it, i just take my homework far too seriously.)

day 269

things that i like to eat:

fancy cupcakes

bagels

pesto thangz~~ (which is new-ish, within the last year and a half)

tomato soup

and grilled cheese

and also apples and cheese together are really good

milkshakes

pumpkin raisin crunch cereal

black and white cookies. looove those so much. where are they in shreveport? nowhere!

omelettes

apple pie

bananas

basically every kind of fruit

veg chili

veggie fake-meat stuff is sometimes good, but usually the meaty texture grosses me out

smores!!

peanut butter everything

also i really love bread

i can't remember if i've written a very similar list to this one before, but if i did it was a long time ago and i'm sure you'd all love to read it again because it just contains some really interesting content

day 268

i believe last night may have been a record low in hours of sleep.

i'd estimate two.

there may or may not have been a night in my past when i've gotten zero, but i can't remember, so that statistic is NULL AND VOID.

i went to bed early/was tired/was physically comfortable/had osiris next to me (who kept having twitchy dreams aww. i wonder what cats dream about...). i just couldn't fall asleep, until 1:45-ish, and then my alarm went off at 3:45 for my AWESOME 5 AM SHIFT. i hate nights like that.

it made today especially kooky.

motor skills impaired

slow mind

sooo fucking clumsy

you know, the usual sleep-deprivation side effects of life.

day 267

takin one for the team guyz, because even though this is just a horrible picture of me in which it looks like i have a passionate love for watermelon and/or am playing a green harmonica and/or my fingers look hideously long, the main point of this picture is i'm standing in front of some gr8 paintings

i went to the *~art show~* tonight at minicine and it was totes awes y'all

i hope someday i create art that is equally amazing and someday will be in an art show and someone will be like "this shit is good" and then take a picture in front of it for their futuristic 365 day blog.

also, i think my computer might explode from the 505 pictures i've uploaded this weekend. i've been a tad bit overzealous with my photography assignments. perhaps an external hard drive will be in my near future.

day 266

"letter to a stranger"

dear stranger, i wrote you

a letter

describing the way the

dreams came too late

and

i drew the sounds of

footsteps

on january concrete,

careful to place

mine slightly ahead of

yours

i wrote of how i could

still feel the

waves

when i slept

and

how i remember

the scents of

fingerprints on windows, my

forehead pressed against

the dirty steering wheel

(the costumes were true)

i

traced the music i could no longer taste

and i put into words

everything that i never spoke

it's too bad, then,

i had written in

invisible

ink

day 265

i MAY need to wear hello kitty bandaids* on alllll of my fingers because i've been biting my nails so so so short lately

i think i might not even have fingernails at all by the time this week is over

*interesting anecdote: one time when i was ohhhh about 4 years old, my sister came to watch me do gymnastics for my ~gymnastics class~ and i'm not really sure what happened, but i developed a fear of band-aids**. probably had nothing at all to do with gymnastics*** but there was a bandaid involved somehow (that part no longer exists in my memory). and then one time we went to see the land before time (gr8 classic film) and the theater was so full that i had to sit on my sister's lap, but she had a bandaid on her finger so i screamed/cried and we didn't stay for the movie. then another time my dad broke his ankle and had to wear a cast on his leg (a larger, more ominous version) and i was afraid of that too. then my parents were probably like OUR DAUGHTER IS A WEIRD FREAK so i went to see a ~therapist~ and he was like "hey my thumb looks a little red, maybe i should go put a bandaid on it" (which in retrospect is just DUMB) and then i started crying and he went to get my mom. that's all i remember. i'm not sure how this problem ever got resolved. but now, today, twenty years later, regular-colored bandaids still make me feel inexplicably uneasy and i have to wear hello kitty/mario/animal print/NOT THE CLOTH KIND because those are the worst. and if anyone near me is wearing a regular-colored bandaid, the thought of it invades my brain and just bothers me a lot.

hope y'all guyz don't think i'm too cray-zay now.

**spelling "bandaid" like "band-aid" is just making me feel like an asshole. i guess technically it's BANDAGE but ehhhh

***i really had some exceptional vault skills and was a master on the balance beam

day 264

the losing streak is in full effect.

1. to quote a text i sent my bf: "[our photography sub] was like THIS SHIT IS TOO OVEREXPOSED and this girl in class was like, i think that's what she was doing on purpose, and he was like oh i don't care, it's still WRONG." (slightly exaggerating, but basically he despised my photos)

2. i can't draw round things. can't can't can't

3. i was trying to dress like ~joni mitchell~ today and a girl in my class told me i looked like i was about to go fishing

4. i had two earrings in when i left this morning. halfway through the day i noticed i only had one!

5. the ludacris tickets are alllll gone

hopefully my day is about to take a sharp turn UPWARD, becuzzz i'm about to go buy an easel (maybe. if they aren't too pricey) then go work on my leonard cohen pointillism project. (first choice mimzy, NOT ALLOWED TO DO CATS, second choice l. cohen) also go hang wif my boyfriend later. maybe even eat something, and maybe even sleep!

day 263

one shitty day full of minor complaints that seemed major at the time:

my professor told me i couldn't paint mimzy for my portrait and i had to try really hard not to cry because who cries in class?? well maybe i did see a few people have minor breakdowns in high school and college but i never did because IT'S NOT SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE PAST THE AGE OF 10. HIDE YOUR TRUE EMOTIONS, Y'ALL. you might be wondering, whyyyy would you get so upset that you couldn't paint your cat? and i don't know the real honest the answer. but i have a few possible reasons:

1. i really loved mimzy a lot and i'm sad that she now sits in an urn next to my bed

2. y'all i'm just really stressed about school lately

3. i really h8 being unprepared for class, and because i didn't have a human portrait, i couldn't do anythaang

then i was so excited to go to walgreens and pick up the film from this old disposable camera that i found in my house. d'coda and i finished the last two pictures on it yesterday while i was taking real profesh pix for my class. i was expecting to see old family pictures, old pets, me when i was younger, etc.

soooo what gems were developed from that camera?? OH JUST PICTURES OF MY MOM'S OLD CLASS. dammit.

also i went to school early so i could use the projector to trace something. AND THEN i couldn't figure out how to use it, so i just got really frustrated and almost cried again (losing all my cool cred as i type this) finally after about 2938749 minutes of trying different (all unsuccessful) ways of making it work, this girl came in and rescued me by showing me how to use it. BUT GUESS WHAT. i didn't even need to have my image traced yet at all!! what a funny twist to the story!

also work sucked :o(

i do apologize for all of these petty complaints, but it just seemed like nothing was working in my favor.

i DID however, get an A on my landscape which is rad because i worked majorly hard on that masterpiece.

* aside from my ~brilliant~ performance as alice in closer for my character development class.

day 262

L8 upload sorry busy busy sorry, but i hope y'all think this pic is swell

day 261

oO HAYY

there's nothing i'd rather do on a saturday night than finish my ~color value scale~ and stare at my ~landscape~ and wonder how to finish it without ruining it.

but i worked until ~~~really late and now i just really need to get this done

i think i might even lose some fOLLoWeRs because all i do is ~homework~ and all i talk about is ~homework~ blahhhh wah why don't i just take another road trip across the country

day 260

friday night: practicing selfless love

then,

relaxing every muscle in my body until i float

day 259

i am...

day 258

i've got a zillion-track mind.

soooo to WIND DOWN before i fall asleep, i'm just going to lust after all of this i can't afford and also start searching for a ~*~master painting~*~ to reproduce for my class.

dali? perhaps. magritte? maybe. this one painting of trees that i might choose if i could remember who painted it? WHO KNOWS! skool is HARD, painting is TUFF.

day 257

this morning, i drove to class wearing an extremely uncomfortable ring on my finger

then i asked myself why i was even wearing it

and began to question my existence

and everything i've ever known to be "true"

then i remembered that the only class i ever got a perfect grade in (never missed one thing on any of the homework assignments or tests) was math

MATH

what am i doing taking art classes?

and why am i wearing this ring that is too big for my pinky but too small for my ring finger and is just generally uncomfortable and bulky?

day 256

lots o' pixx:

1. 5 photos of moving water (this shit was almost impossible without a tripod. luckily i possess the genius ability to craft one out of cardboard boxes)

^this one is the best i think

^i don't like this picture at all. it's boring, and my camera is wearing sunglasses because it was too bright. i kept it anyway because besides the first one, its the only photo that i used a low shutter speed, which was technically the assignment.

2. 5 photos of mailboxes

^the best

^i think my professor will not like this one. "WHY?" you say, "it's so awesome!" WELL, it's focused in the foreground but your eyes follow the lines to the background which is blurry. but basically it's just symbolic of the present and future. THE FUTURE IS BLURRY GET IT?!?!~~~

3. 5 photos of one object (not too sure if i did this one correctly because these are nothing like the examples he showed)

^great composition, i know, i know

^perhaps one of my favorite pictures i've ever taken.

^i spent way too long setting this up, but i've got a feeling it's one of the best ideas for a picture in the world, tied with this picture and all of these

NOW LISTEN. if by any chance someone in my photography class is reading this, y'all BETTER NOT steal any of my ideas

day 255

today dacoda and i went to the gay and lesbian film festival to see john waters because dacoda loves him a lot and i got him the tixxx for his bday.

if you don't know who john waters is, don't feel bad y'all! i didn't know either until dacoda made me watch pink flamingos. and also he directed hairspray and serial mom and other movies.

the really rad thing about john waters is that he loves comme des garcons! he wears the clothes all the time and was even a model once yearsss ago.

we got to see him give a short monologue (comedy-ish), introduce one of his movies, and do a q&a after the movie. i can only say that he seemed very well-rehearsed. it would have been nice to have had a genuine conversation with him where i did more than just compliment his cdg shoes, and i know dacoda would have liked to HANG WITH THAT BRO for like a whole day or a week.

N-E-WAYZ since i played for most of the day, i still have homework tonight so i'll be staying up medium-late. and if you guys were worrying that i wasn't going to share any more of my photography assignments with you, then don't because i am! tomorrow night! BE THERE

______________________

+++++++++++++++++++++

here is a PIC of me + john h2os

have i ever mentioned how much i h8 taking pixxx with famous people?? i'm not sure why i did this.. notice how the chairs in the foreground are nice and sharply focused, while the actual subject of the picture is blurry. what a great creative choice by the photographer!

day 254

this picture was an accident obv duh DOH! but i kept it anyway because nothing in life is ever what you expect it to be AND ISN'T THAT JUST THE GREATEST LESSON OF ALL TIME

day 253

things i got from the book bazaar:

a norfin trolls puzzle

an american art book that i picked up and flipped to a page with an irving penn photograph, thus needed to buy it

a color photography book

and a nickelodeon vhs tape with pete and pete and are you afraid of the dark episodes

day 252

late again, LATEly.

day 251

tomorrow morn' i have a much-needed breakfast date with my boyfff whom i haven't seen in three days due to my insanely busy schedule.

lately everything i want to do only cuts in to the allotted time i have to sleep, because it's the only expendable thing (at least to some degree). i should go to sleep right now immediately because i'm TIRED but i really just want to watch this video paula sent me of her serious boyfriend (caleb followill hey) and make dacoda a mix cd.

but don't worry all you worriers, i've been taking airborne to stay healthy in the midst of the work/school chaos my life has become.

day 250

i've only recently noticed how strongly my sense of smell is tied to memory

day 249

for photog class^

L8 UPLOAD SORRY BOUT DAT.

on this day, monday, september 8, 2010, i went to dallas with my mom because we like to do that quite frequently. every year my mom has this ingenious idea to buy christmas presents months in advance, then forgets what she's bought and buys too much or loses the gift. i told her to WRITE THAT SHIT DOWN MAYNE. also she buys thangz for me that i really need and won't let me have it until christmas. thx mom.

on the way back from dallas i had my own ingenious idea to try to train my eyes to see without corrective lenses, giving the passing cars a bokeh effect. LUCKILY i wasn't the one driving, because i was pretending to be driving in my mind just to see if i COULD, if ever there was an emergency situation that didn't allow me to wear glasses or contacts and i needed to drive. in conclusion, no.

i think my idea backfired entirely, because i've been having an especially difficult time focusing on numbers and letters since then.

day 248

hi.

today i did askngeofnxchomework.

i began to hate my photography class almost as much as i love it.

and i worked on this damn color wheel until my vision was blurry*:

maybe you guys won't even notice how i went out of the lines on the blue-green part.

also i dyed my hair ~auburn~

and tomorrow i thinkkk i'm going to dallas with my mom.

*not the optimal description, since my eyes are torturing me lately ALL THE TIME... steadily declining vision (even with my new-ish prescription), horrible depth-perception at night, SOMETHING STRANGE causing my left eyelid to swell slightly and cause MAXIMUM PAIN AND DISCOMFORT. i think 3 examples should be sufficient. my eyes suck.

day 247

HEY GUYZ i've just been at work for practically all day pretty much, which means i won't be able to fall asleep for another ohhhh 2.5 hours.

here's a couple of things i think i might do in the meantime:

read some fine literature

watch something good on netflix instant

hang out with esther and osiris

look up what could possibly be wrong with my left eye/eyelid because it's hurting so bad y'all

day 246

3. What’s something we can’t tell just by looking at you?

That I have many irrational fears, and deal with my anxiety in a several unusual ways. I’m afraid of everything basically. Parking garages, internal organs, large crowds of females, I could go on… Sometimes I get unexplainable fears of paper cuts, so I won’t touch paper for days without freaking out. Also, driving or riding in cars, I’m afraid I’m going to die. That one comes and goes, but it’s very debilitating.