day 365

the last one.

first things first:

a bit of progress...

my bed is MADE. this is such a rarity.

hahaha! i never had stuffed animals on my bed when i was little, so i suppose i'm making up for it now with this unusual amalgamation of creatures. i only ever slept with my ~*~blankie, creatively named "pink blanket" or "pinkie" (ever-present, far left)

and my clothing rack. it's a BIG DEAL for my clothes to be hung up and not on the floor.

secondly, in my nostalgic state i've been looking at pictures from past new years eves:

this was last year, new years eve 2009, at the cinnamon girls first show

there i am on the ground, nbd

and the year before,

on this night i remember being disconcerted by my ability to feel absolutely nothing at all and still be alive.

the year before that, 2007. i remember this being a really spectacular night. i had better pictures but i can't find them.

and the year before that. i had just had my wisdom teeth taken out days earlier.

i'm not really friends with any of these people anymore, some of them i don't even speak to. can't believe this was FOUR YEARS AGO oh my god i'm old.

i haven't planned any ~~*~*~*resolutions for next year. i think last year i resolved to eat more donuts, but i didn't really keep track. and well, this project was the biggest commitment i could've possibly made.

when i was 13 i made a new years resolution to paint my fingernails a different color everyday. it didn't work out.

(and things have certainly changed.)

so here it goes: the end of my 365 day project.

i really had no idea what i was getting into when i began, and it seems so surreal that i won't be doing this again tomorrow.

i honestly considered just not posting today, just not doing a picture, and leaving it at 364 days, because i didn't want to finish. it hurts for me to finish something, even when i know i have to.

i've always been disheartened by the idea of the past. i can trace it back to being 5 years old and crying because i would never get to see my sister's school play version of the wizard of oz again. it broke my tiny 5-year-old heart to know that it was finished; the moment was over and it would never happen again.

it saddens and angers me that i can't go back in time and relive any moments that i would so choose. all i have are memories, and more infrequently, photographs, that will fade over time until one day they might as well have not happened at all.

and so i've gone pretty much my whole life avoiding finishing as many things as possible.

this is easily the most time-consuming project (aside from LIFE) i've ever done. some days i would spend HOURS taking and editing photos.

there were days when i so badly wanted to quit. during the summer when i was traveling, it was difficult to keep up with it in the absence of a reliable internet connection.

sometimes during the fall semester it was almost unreasonable for me to concentrate on this project when i had SO MANY other things going on.

there were times when i couldn't bear to look in the mirror (ohh you know, ugly days), much less take a picture and post it online.

but i did it anyway, and here it is in its entirety. a complete collection of 365 photographs. a whole year of my life, finished.

and finally,

thank you thank you thank you for reading.

i don't personally know everyone who reads this...

(hey y'all)

so if you want to stay in contact, i have a facebook, twitter, my old blog that i may or may not start again, and a new tumblr that i've only posted one thing on and don't really know how to use yet.

i'm clicking this "publish post" button one last time.

THANK YOU

have a happy new year!!!!

and goodbye :o)

day 364

i am moving i am moving

can you see me?

i

am

spinning.

we were so frightened we shook and

there was salt left in my blood-

headlights broke the rain, fingernails

through flesh,

band of fucking horses in the

upside-down

cars

and i had never been colorful,

couldn't be colorful

before this.

i was only left asking

if

i was ready

or if i

could have tried harder

or when exactly did

the branches

break

through the glass and

were there survivors?

(i paid for the roots in pennies)

and now, i keep my hands in the flames

because i

like

the

memories

day 363

-jonathan safran foer

TOP FAVORITE ULTIMATE ALBUMS OF 2010

11. ppl/bands - bRoKeN HEARTS & dirrty wInDoWs - sOnGs of John Prine

10. antony and the johnsons ~~~~~ swanlights

9. sANFORD mumford aND sONS - sIGH nO mORE

8. ****the tallest man on earth**** - the WILD hunt

7. bRoKeN beLLs - broken bells

6. soofyan stevens***~~~ the AGE of ADZ

5. bEcK + other ppl RECORD CLUB - songz of l. cohen///

4. ARC FIRE**~*~ the suburbzz

3. ~*~b& of hOrSeS~*~ infinite armszsz

2. STEEL TRAIN - steel train

1. the national AKA the nAsH**~~ high violet

AND SONGS

15. STARZ - dead HEARTZ

14. mEnOmena ** 5ive little roomzz

13. fRoNtIeR rUcKuS**~~**~~**~NERVEZ of the NIGHTMIND

12. bEaCh house ****~~~~ zEbRa~~~~

11. +++MGMT *~ i FOUnd a WHIstle

10. sTeeL trAiN ~* u and i undercover

9. theeee national - sOrRrRrRrRoW

8. DA DRUMS - DOWN BY DA H2O

7. ~*kanye west, bon iver, nicki minaj, other ppl*~ - mOnStEr*~*

6. jiiimmy EAT WORLD ~*~coffee and cigarettes~*~

5. BAND of WHORE-SES: eVeNiNg KiTcHeN

4. justin vernon - bRuiiised oRange (chain of sorrow)***~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

3. band of horses *** blue beard

2. ThE NaTiOnAL tErRiBLe LoVe

1. STEEL TRAIN *~*~*~* FALL ASLEEP

this was hard.

but yes, necessary

day 362

ohhh not sure if youguys have noticed

but it's day 362/365

CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING

i just stuck some glow-in-the-dark stars above my bed :o)

i'm trying to decide if i should finish watching the wild and wonderful whites of west virginia (online.. oh my god this documentary is insane) or american psycho (in my dvd playaaa).

tomorrow i have a breakfast date with my fraaaands so dacoda and i can give them their belated christmas presents.

and i'm going to buy a clothing rack because my closet is FULL. i know y'all are surprised probably.

and i've been working hard on deciding my top songs/albums of 2010 (important info/ranking is fun/everyone cares~*~*~*~*~)

i can FEEL the year coming to an end.

i have to end this project in three days, and i'm not prepared.

day 361

some important things from a notebook:

an illustation of an oft-unfollowed traffic rule

and what i'd think a lion would say

when i was cleaning my room i found a 100 DOLLAR BILL/hundo/benjy. this is so lucky! i left it in my brown fanny pack this summer and forgot about it.

(i hope no one takes this as an invitation to rob me. i have it very well hidden.)

this is the main reason why i love making serious attempts at cleaning my room. i love finding old treasures!

also i found my old favorite green and blue plaid shirt

and a peacock feather that is begging me to make something with it.

day 360

practicing my dance moves after watching black swan~*~

kinda glad i'm not a psycho ballerina

but wish i could do beautiful twirls aka **~*~*~*pirouets~*~*~* and/or the splits.

fave movies that were released in the year 2010:

TOY STORY 3 (top spot)

catfish

true grit

i'm still here

well, it turns out the other movies i was going to put on this list were actually released in 2009.

shutter island was okkk

black swan was good but not as good as THE FOUNTAIN

i remember thinking hot tub time machine was really hilarious.

i guess i haven't watched very many new movies this year..

also i just added a bunch of documentaries to my netflix instant queue

anyway today i worked on goal #592

here's a short list of things included in "cleaning your room":

• loading pez into a pez dispenser (and then throwing away the wrapper)
• hanging up things on walls
• looking at magazines to see if you can throw them away or not
• putting together outfits~~~
• cleaning out purses
• doing thorough "smell checks" to make sure your cats aren't using any area as a secret litter box
• putting everything in piles
• ...... basically as long as your computer is off, it counts as cleaning your room

BUT SERIOUSLY tomorrow i'm off all day and have no plans, so i have plenty of time to clean it. i'll take before and after pictures. it will be impressive.

day 359

christmas was wonderful :o)\

i woke up wayyy earlier than everyone else so i went downstairs to PEEK/watch american psycho

then my family woke up and we opened presents/played with colin's toyzzzzz

and then ate gooood breakfast after i picked up dacoda

and later we saw ~*~true grit~*~

ate spaghetti

ohh and then i fell asleep watching scrooged~~~**~~~

oh and if you were wondering if my family liked their presents, YES THEY DID. it was just these pictures of colin that i took, printed, cut, framed, made fancy, etc. 4 in each frame, you know, fancy.

and christmas isn't COMPLETELY over for me because i still haven't given my friends their gifts.

AND if you were thinking, "i wonder what awesome new things lizzie got for christmas, i'd really like to know", please read the following list. if you don't care, please skip ahead to the very last line.

A NEW POLAROID CAMERA. i've only taken one picture with it so far...

a newww zoom lens for my canon.

TICKETS TO SEE JIMMY EAT WORLD AND THE AVETT BROTHERS (from my bf/bff)

also fun. and avett brothers vinyls (also from my bf)

a really great huge pierre et gilles photography/art book

THREE new games to play at gamenight

some clothing items, jewelry, owl things and a few books~~~**~~~~

OHH and an art table!

basically what i'm trying to say is my mom went way overboard with giving gifts. but i really do love and appreciate them all. can't way to playyy with them

i hope you guys had great christmases too!!!

day 358

hi~ do u guyz sumtymz get sad/angry/grumpy during the holidayzzz?

sometimes the expectations of christmas are ridiculously high.

i just get this overwhelming urge to make everyone happy

for example, i MADE everyone in my family a present, and i'm afraid they won't like them..

i just RLY LOVE MAKING PPL HPY

and i just stayed awake realllly late to finish wrapping presents. (soooo merry christmas!)

and also at work today i was feelin sad. thought about crying. didn't.

hope y'all are not being moody like me. are y'all seeing movies tomorrow with your families? are you watching a christmas story but not in the order that the movie was intended to be seen in on tbs? are y'all listening to KVKI?

here's a link to something beautifully written and christmas/holiday-moods-related

day 357

"words"^^^

LiZzIe'S uLtImAtE/fAvOrItE xXxMaS sOnGs:

1) Christmas in the Room - Sufjan Stevens

2) White Christmas - The Drifters (aKa hOmE aLoNe vErSiOn~*~)

3) Christmas Time is Here Again - My Morning Jacket

4) Must Be Santa - Raffi

5) 12.23.95 - Jimmy Eat World

6) Christmas All Over Again - Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers

7) Here Comes Santa Claus - Bob Dylan

8) Come On Let's Boogey to the Elf Dance - Sufjan Stevens

9) Believe in Me - fun.

10) Do They Know It's Christmas? - Band Aid (gEoRgE MiChAeL, u2, dUrAn dUraN, eTc.)

11) When I Get Home for Christmas - Snow Patrol

12) Blue Christmas - Elvis Presley

13) All I Want for Christmas is You - Vince Vance and the Valiants

14) The First Song - Band of Horses (technically NOT an official christmas song)

15) On Christmas Morning - Raffi

16) Jesus, Oh What a Wonderful Child - Mariah Carey

17) Christmas Time - Hanson

i should've shared this sooner so you guys could've done google searches on all the songs, downloaded them, and made mixes or playlists. SORRY

day 356

y'all my poodle is just so hilarious looking. he LOVES CHRISTMAS too.

today was the designated cookie-making day. fam tradish~

i rly love making and especially decorating christmas cookies.

also i've been eating lunch at earthereal every day this week because it's CLOSING.

my favorite restaurant in shreveport!!! WHERE am i going to eat lunch now?????? goodbye strange art on the walls. goodbye awesome old man who makes sandwiches. goodbye sweet john and cowboy cookies. goodbye, egg salad sandwich with no olives GOODBYE ALFALFA SPROUTS :o(****

day 355

first day of winter~~~~

HEY EVERYONE WHO DOESN'T HAVE THE PLEASURE OF LIVING IN THE WONDERFUL STATE OF LOUISIANA,

it was 78 degrees.

nbd

i'm pleased to announce that none of my cats died on the first day of winter this year. unfortunately last year i wasn't so lucky :o(

LUV U MISS U BAYBY

day 354

hi guys.

it's no secret that i love shopping in crowds, hordes of hurried people, stampedes even.

and dallas had some MEGA CROWDS.

so exciting~~~~

i got most of what i wanted to get, i truly am such a thoughtful gift-giver. i think i'd make an excellent personal shopper. i'm going to add that to my "potential careers" list.

the only other things on that list are walrus trainer, cake photographer, and president of the chip of the month club, which technically isn't even a career so i should cross that one off.

but y'all, i don't believe that having a CAREER is really as important as society has drilled into our brains, ok?

goodnight!

day 353

film from my ~~~diana mini camera~~~

dacoda and i went to the flea market this morning to get christmas presents for our friends. we got some SWEET DEALS.

also i got FRANKENWEENIE on vhs to watch tonight since we aren't having gamenight (////////**CRYING*)

i still need to wrap lots of presentzz

and tomorrow i'm going to dallas with my mom.

you might be thinking, lizzie haven't you gone to dallas like 57* times this year? *exaggeration

but dallas is just really not that far away and we all know how i feel about big cities and there are a few more things i need to get for chreeestmas that i can't buy here and don't feel like ordering online.

hopefully my mom won't make me listen to her audiobook in the car.

here are a few other pictures from the film i just got developed. i started the roll in august and just now finished it. all of these were taken on the half-frame setting so that's why they are 2-in-1 and multipley-exposed.

day 352

HEY ALL Y'ALL

apologiez again for the late upload, there rly is no reason for it~~~

just i was too busy partyin' last night is all.

here are some christmas videos to make up for it:

(you really should watch at least the first one)

The Jolly Christmas Postman

(jeeezz, from 2006..)

and if you really have absolutely nothing to do, watch this one too

day 351

after 54 hours of pumping my body full of drugs, i finally felt well enough today to, you know, LEAVE MY BEDROOM

(but still managed to spend plenty of time with these guys:)

AND

dun dun dun.........

please pay particular attention to the last 3 grades, which were the most difficult to obtain.

this is SUCH GOOD NEWS.

wonder if my parents are going to give me 50 cents for every A~~~~

day 350

OBVI being sick suxxx

BUT

i'm here to offer a RAY OF LIGHT amidst the darkness...

good things about being sick/the glass is half full y'all:

• you can watch as many episodes of my so-called life as you want!
• extra time spent with kitties! cats love it when you're sick, because you're in bed a lot and they get to sleep next to you and bask in your warmth. and if you spill hot chocolate on them, they'll understand
• soft/liquid foods are easy on the throat and delicious.
• also cough drops taste pretty good (halls fruit breezrz r the best~)
• a lot of sleep = a lot of dreams (which are usually crazy on cold/flu meds and need to be written down immediately upon waking up)

i just finished watching eternal sunshine. gr8 movie/wacky plot/so brilliantly sad. i feel the need to watch the whole thing again.

perhaps it's so confusing to me because i can't quite grasp the situation. i've never been in the position to want to erase my past. i couldn't ever imagine wanting that. i could only hope to desperately cling to each tiny memory.

in fact i could probably spend about 237520 hours analyzing this movie, but instead i think i'll let the diphenhydramine hcl~~ take full effect

c u guyz l8r~

day 349

Y'ALL

i am SICK

i've done nothing all day except watch movies, eat pudding and applesauce, drink tea, and sleeeeep so much

i barely crawled out of bed to take this picture

day 348

my latest goal in life is to get my room very clean and organized

i'm so disastrously messy

it will be a CHRISTMAS MIRACLE if it actually happens

day 347

you were always the gentle one-

pierced your hands with stars

so i could hold on, still.

but despite

my desperate attempts

to pry my fingers loose from

yours,

your skin crept under my eyelids,

and when i drove away that night, i

didn't know i'd be writing

all

my

life

day 346

cover songs that are good (a non-definitive list):

half-right - jimmy eat world (heatmiser/elliott smith)

true love will find you in the end - hey marseilles (daniel johnston)

maps - rogue wave (the yeah yeah yeahs)

crazy in love -antony and the johnsons (beyonce)

bitches ain't shit - ben folds (dr. dre)

umbrella - mandy moore (rihanna)

glutton of sympathy - the format (jellyfish)

helpless - ryan adams (crosby, stills, nash and young)

viva la vida- lady gaga (coldplay)

skinny love - ingrid michaelson (bon iver)

pale blue eyes - R.E.M. (velvet underground)

hey that's no way to say goodbye - beck/record club (leonard cohen)

handle with care - jenny lewis/m. ward/ben gibbard/conor oberst (traveling wilburys)

and this:

day 345

hi,

let me just tell you guys about something that bothers me.

yesterday, while shopping with my mom at the gap for some clothes for my nieces for christmas (preposition overload, sry) i noticed the large, bold-lettered signs for SKINNY jeans. for children!

NOW, having "skinny" jeans for adults is bad enough (i've always hated that term. tapered-leg is just fine, and i prefer the more hilarious word "jeggings") but seriously FOR CHILDREN. even boys!

my mom and i were trying to find some black pants for a 10-year-old, but the damn tag inside said "super skinny".

wtffff

i was outraged, caused a minor scene, and wouldn't let my mom buy the pants.

WHY are we teaching young children that this word is associated with things that are good???

i work in a place where half the drinks are called "skinny." i REFUSED to suggest it to people when we were promoting them last spring. i even wrote a letter to the corporation about how ridiculous i thought it was. (the other drinks, with extra sugar, whipped cream, etc. are obviously not called "fatty.") it's so commonly accepted to use that word as something positive, when it is NOT ALWAYS POSITIVE.

i don't really know exactly what my point is. i don't have a conclusion, because the only way i can think to change the situation is by NOT exposing children to this complete bullshit, which we've clearly already done.

i was just really mad/disgusted.

here's a video that gets the point across pretty well:

last night i went to an art show/short-film exhibition/christmas-themed gathering.

it was pretty rad. zillllions of people, delicious snacks, music y'allll.

there were naked people there (but beautiful naked people. had they not been, would their presence have been reacted to differently?)

also i have been spending quite a bit of time watching christmas movies on abc family.

and last night when i ate dinner with my parents at pieworks they were showing frosty the snowman~~

i love holiday movies y'all.

loooove christmas time~

one last thing..

this is the last painting i did in my painting class, of me, dacoda, and dave:

day 344

inspiration for art/life:

i found this gem in a folder on my desktop. not sure where it came from or when i saved it, but it's gEnIuS:

found this bon-iver-inspired art on deviantart:

also from my desktop, source unknown:

a postsecret that i saved long ago:

the national:

YOU'RE WELCOME